So, I never write in this journal. I never have a reason to. But right now I want to write something, and I don't know where else to put it, so here it is.

I dunno. I'm having a weird night, I guess. Who knows with me... who knows. And so I went out tonight, and I listened to this beautiful instrumental music as I gazed out at the night sky. I didn't care that it was about 23 degrees outside. I could hardly feel the cold. I stood there just thinking, and a lot went through my head... some stuff I hardly know where it came from. A mystery.

I began thinking of change. So much change has happened over the past year or so. Change for the better, change for the worst... but the one thing about change is, it's never seamless. When you look at nature, it makes you think it is. From season to season, spring to summer, summer to autumn, autumn to winter, and winter back to spring again... it's just flows so steadily. The cool spring air, and growth of everything... bursts of colors abound, as it steadily gets hotter into the summer, when some plants die of heat, while others thrive. Summer begins to cool into autumn, and the leaves turn into colors of gold and orange as they fall to the ground. They fall, and fall, and eventually leaves are dead for the season, for winter has arrived. Pure white snown falls to the ground, and covers everything, as it gets colder and colder... but eventually it warms up again, and all is reborn as spring as come once more...

Yet life isn't like this. Not at all. Things go this way and that and nothing can be controlled, ever. It isn't a seamless flow, but a storm. Nothing makes any sense, and we're all running in circles, praying and hoping that some day we'll escape the circular path, and move on... but will it ever happen???

I dunno.

And then tonight, I saw a shooting star. It was beautiful. And it got me thinking of that phrase, wishing upon a shooting star. You can never wish upon a shooting star, because as soon as it appears it's gone again. No one is ever fast enough to make their wish, and even if they are, it won't come true. Wishes never come true. It's just a wish, a faint hope that maybe something will go right for once. It will never happen though. It sounds cruel, depressing, what have you.. but it's true. Wishes are just that... wishes. And wishing upon a shooting star ain't gonna make 'em come true...

I dunno. I'm in a weird mood right now. I'll probably wake up tomorrow and think I'm crazy or something, but I just felt like sharing my thoughts, even if they may not make any sense whatsoever.

So here they are.